ppl keep counting down to new year, but i don like it...it is like
counting down to reality...i have to go back to school, see how weak
in studies i am compared to other ppl, see how short i am...i don know
about tis anymore...i don know where my life is headed to...i wan to
see the light...i need help finding my way, finding the meaning,
finding rest in the maze of life...its so scary feeling alone,
detached from others...and when i see a group of frens together...i
cant help envying then...they have frens and can mix around freely, i
have onli a few (if not none) which im not close to...if onli the
world isnt so task oriented...everybody is looking towards what u can
do, not what u are...thats y alot of new year resolutions are stuff
like "i must work harder" or "i wan to learn more useful
skills"...everything is about being better equiped to help society,
not being better at controlling emotions, being more mature, being
more understanding...what is the meaning of life? is it about striving
to be better (as in have more cash, status etc. etc.), or to know more
about oneself...i don know anymore...