wow 3rd post 2day...i guess that although it was an uneventful day, my emotions are raging like the seas on a stormy night...im feeling more pain as i try to resist Maplestory...its pain that hurts right down to my heart...

im desperate...desperate for two things

one: i wan the pain to be over...its so pain...like labour pain - it comes back worser and worser...its so bad that i feel like taking my life to end the pain...maybe this pain is kind of a punishment for getting addicted in the first place...i was so stupid...how could i be so stupid...

two: im sick of this life...im hoping something happens to it...in fact, im so desperate that i would rather be handicapped, go blind or have some accident...at least for a short while i wont be "me" anymore...i'll have more affection...i'll greatfully juz give up everything for juz a moment of affection...u dont know how much this means to me - i've been living life on my own...my family juz misunderstands me as they see how i appear to be, but my feelings run much, much deeper than this...that's y i'll nvr be able to put my life story on this blog (unlike most ppl)...i hope some1 understands...